BLOG POST: Top 5 Foods To Eat When You're Broke As Hell



Everybody’s been broke before!  And I know all about poverty…just look at my mixtape, “Broke and Still Telling Jokes.”  Now, your ass might be broke for different reasons. Maybe you spent too much money at the strip club…on some chick who smell like ass and basement stairs.  Maybe you got fired from your job, because you showed up drunk.  But you worked at a sobriety clinic.  Whatever the case, I’m going to show you how to eat for a week on a $10 budget.  I present to you “The Top 5 Foods To Eat When You’re Broke As Hell


#5 - PANCAKES
 


Aunt Jemima been hooking niggas up for years!  If you look at a pancake box closely, it’s got poverty written all over that b!tch.  I think it’s one of the main ingredients.  But this is a great way to stay full.  Just add water and you can eat them all day.  Some people like to get fancy and add chocolate chips or bacon into the mix.  I say…if you got money for extra ingredients, then your ass really ain’t poor. It’s a luxury to put syrup on them motherf*ckas!



#4 - OATMEAL



I call it oatmeal, but white people call it porridge.  The same stuff Goldilocks was eating in that old fairy tale.  That’s why the three bears were mad. Because they’re broke as f*ck, and you eating all the damn oatmeal.  Anyway, oatmeal will stick to your bones and quench your hunger.  Plus, it has lots of health benefits such as reducing heart disease and cholesterol.  So you don’t have to explain your financial woes. Just say, “I’m getting oatmeal because I wanna stay healthy!  Do you mind, b!tch?



#3 – TACOS



God bless those Latinos!  They must’ve known I only had $20 left, and created a cheap meal for me.  Just get some ground beef, taco shells, cheese, lettuce, and sauce.  You can make them in large amounts, so they’re great for feeding families.  If someone invites you over for dinner, and they’re cooking tacos…just know they’re in DEBT!  They probably just paid off student loans, child support, or rent.  My nickname for tacos is “THIS IS ALL I CAN AFFORD” meal.



#2 – SANDWICHES



The possibilities are endless!  You can make all types of sandwiches!  My favorite is BLT (Bacon, Lettuce, and Tomato).  But sometimes I can’t afford the B, the L, or the T.  So I’m stuck eating an OTB sandwich (Only The Bread).  Whoever created a loaf of bread was a frugal genius!  Bread can also show you how desperate you are.  If you eat the booty end (which is the end pieces of a loaf), then your ass is “third world country” poor!  No one eats the booty end…unless they’re on the brink of homelessness. 



#1 – RAMEN NOODLES



We’re finally here!  It was hard to think of the number one food item for broke people. Some may say spaghetti, but I had to go with ramen noodles!  Every college student will agree with my decision.  When you remove it from the packaging, the noodles look like plastic.  Honestly, I don’t know what this sh!t is made from.  But put it in some boiling water, and it becomes dinner!  You can get it for 30 cents or cheaper. My mom was so poor, she couldn’t afford the noodles.  She just gave us the mix sauce. I’ve seen people put sliced hot dogs or chicken into the noodles.  Others will turn it into a full meal…with corn bread and cabbage.  To those people, I say… “You’re doing too much!  Sit your broke ass down!

- Dandrell Scott

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